I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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