wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am mentally ready for anal.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
