come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
