No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
