I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
