So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
