i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
