she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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