yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize