I got chris browned last night
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
