I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
