oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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