Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize