Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize