he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
