Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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