why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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