fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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