I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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