i think my tv is drunk
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
