We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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