I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize