He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
