It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
