Swine flu. Run for my life!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.