areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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