Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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