If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
