She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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