i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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