i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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