sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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