so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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