I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
