Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
