I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
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I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
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I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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