Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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