Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize