Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
