I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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