I must be too annoying 4 u.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
