So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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