And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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