guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
