Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
