He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
