Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
