holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
