walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
