My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You smell like stripper and shame
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
