i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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