i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
