You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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