Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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