My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
