I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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