wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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