the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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