is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
