Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
