How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I stole a fireplace last night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
