her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just want nice things and good sex
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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