T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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