Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
love makes seman taste better
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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