I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
