I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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