sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
