butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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