I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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