I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
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I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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