i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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