I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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