I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize