Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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