Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize