Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
