Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
